December 2005 Archives
Top 10 search phrases used in Dec 2005:
horny man - are they horny men looking, or are they looking for horny men?
"how to make meth" - nope, still not here
b00bs - this isn't even the right spelling. what does this turn up anyway?
twinkie torte - delicious
29. what makes your butt fatter - see #30
30. candy canes - see #29
wardrobe malfuntion - always embarassing
people at door busters got hurt - they do every year
"mommy i gotta poop" - this was the 11th most searched for phrase - wow!
is adam savage gay - the answer is no
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The Rhetoric.com
Quote of the Day: 99% of the people in this world are fools, and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion. - from The X-Files |
Just in case you though this year flew by too fast, scientists are giving you a one second reprieve. For the first time in seven years, just before the new year atomic clocks will read 23:59:60. How bizarre! Apparently this is in order to keep up or adjust for Earth's rotation. Of course if you're drunk and passed out you won't notice anyway.
(sources: Ringing Out 2005 Will Take an Extra Second; New Year’s Day 2006 delayed by a second)
Most people expect a holiday visitor early on Christmas morning bearing gifts and holiday joy. But it wasn't Santa or his holiday elves that visited the community center that I volunteer with on Christmas morning. Sometime probably around 4am someone broke in. They bent several wrought iron bars that are around a half inch in diameter and actually dislodged them and the bricks that held them in. Strange what they took though - hamburger patties, hotdogs, petty cash, and a karaoke machine. Well, Merry Christmas to all, even the burglers I guess...
"Respect the delicate ecology of your delusions." - Angels in America
Akron police say two teens robbed a convenience store Wednesday using a snowball as a weapon... One teen grabbed candy while a second teen threw a snowball, striking the clerk at the Convenient Mart... - Akron Beacon Journal
Now we know why they don't let us take snowballs on airplanes. I'm sure the subway will soon be adopting the same policy. Now you know what's even worse? GAYS with snowballs!
(source: Teens use snowball in theft, police say)
It was the seventh time since Cheney became vice president that he used his powers to break a tie vote... - MBNBC.com
Use the force Dick, use the force! Now are you a good witch or a bad witch? His powers? That's just an odd word choice...
The US Senate passed a bill that apparently makes some serious cuts to government programs. Some of these programs include:
- Centers for Disease Control (just in case the avian flu should strike)
- No Child Left Behind (so the education president can leave a few kids behind)
- Job training programs (because we all have good, secure jobs)
(sources: Senate passes health, education spending cuts; Senate OKs bill to cut deficit with Cheney’s help)
"To suggest that a gay kiss-in is a 'credible threat' is absurd, homophobic and irrational," said C. Dixon Osburn, executive director of Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN).
Well, I suppose it depends on which gays are kissing...
(source: U.S. surveillance moves rile LGBT groups)
"This is still a highly classified program and there are details that it's important not be disclosed," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said. - speaking regarding the Bush administration orders to eavesdrop on Americans.
Well, if this was highly classified I think we're in trouble. Is it highly classified like Valerie Plame's name?
(source: Senate members seek spying probe)
From an email with stories about idiocy:
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
President George W. Bush vowed on Monday to authorize more eavesdropping on Americans suspected of ties to terrorists and said he believed a probe was underway into who committed "the shameful act" of revealing the covert program.
I'm confused. I was thinking the eavesdropping was a shameful act. Not in and of itself precisely, but the fact that Bush bypassed the court that keeps the government's power in check. Maybe Bush is confused too.
(source: Bush vows more eavesdropping)
"In my state, I think there's pretty strong support for protecting civil liberties during times of war and peace." - Sen John Sununu commenting about his opposition to the Patriot act which was blocked in the Senate today. Does this mean our civil rights will renew when the Patriot Act expires? Is this automatic or do I need to file paperwork somewhere?
(source: Patriot Act blocked in US Senate)
"We had an agreement with Ford, worked out in good faith. Unfortunately, some Ford Motor Co. officials made the decision to violate the good-faith agreement" - The AFA Chairman commenting on Ford's newest LGBT ad campaign. The AFA has a "long-standing mission to "de-gay" policies of corporate giants." De-gay? It's not like degreasing an oven people! That's the funniest newly contrived word I think I've read recently. Ironic how Ford claimed there was no agreement between them and the AFA... On Tuesday: "Ford was adamant that there was never a deal with (the American Family Association)..."
(sources: Gay foes renew Ford boycott threat; Ford meets with gay leaders)
Watching FOX News tonight (as I detest because a family member watches it) they had a story about winter causing dry skin. Wow, newsflash. They also recommend using a toothpaste with a whitner in it. Just FYI.
The Festivities and Party Association (FAPA) has issued a statement decrying the war on New Year's by anti-drinking group MADD (mothers against drunk driving). They have also boycotted businesses that have worked with them such as State Farm Insurance. The group says that people who prmote designated drivers and responsible alcohol consumption have declared war on New Years by making the festivities less fun, and they cite MADD's efforts to educate the public as a factor in this travesty. "I just want to live a little during the holidays, and I can't because groups like MADD want me to be all worried about how much I drink," said Matt Midday, a member of FAPA. Mr. Midday also noted that he has canceled his auto insurance with State Farm, and hopes he doesn't get into any accidents in the near future.
FAPA has previously protested the war on sex by boycotting companies such as Trojan, Durex, and Lifestyles for making sex less fun and spontaneous.
(source: i made it up.com)
I have heard way to much about the "war" on Christmas this year. What a bunch of bullshit. What retailer doesn't want a Christmastime? And just because some people try to be inclusive by saying "Happy F-ing Holidays" the religious right got their holiday tree stuck up their collective asses, and have boycotted several retailers.
You know, I think it's kinda ironic that instead of using this time of year to reflect about Christ's life and teachings, the religious right has decided to wage a battle over people trying to be inclusive and have invented a war. Screw the poor and the hungry, we've got a jihad to persue!
And I also just want to point out that when you say happy holidays to someone and they say "F you" for your wishes, there's really something wrong.
Christians don't let friends drive gay. The secret radical religious right agenda! I've figured it out! They just don't want us to drive. They started in on Ford trying to get them to not sell cars to us, and with strange timing Ford pulled its ads from LGBT magazines. I wonder who will be next? Oh, those poor people over at Subaru. (by the way, they don't want us to put money in banks either. just a heads up there for ya)
(source: heard on CNN; Anti-gay efforts target Ford, Wells Fargo)
My weekend off and what did I do all day on Saturday? I studied. All day. I did watch a film last night called Almost Normal. Much better than the previous queer flick I watched. Basic idea is this guy has issues with being different, so he's transported to a world where everyone's gay. Interesting concept. Of course he still must deal with being different. Good line was "The minute that you accept that are different is the moment you become normal." What the hell is normal these days anyway? (Cue DT)
