War on New Year's

   The Festivities and Party Association (FAPA) has issued a statement decrying the war on New Year's by anti-drinking group MADD (mothers against drunk driving). They have also boycotted businesses that have worked with them such as State Farm Insurance. The group says that people who prmote designated drivers and responsible alcohol consumption have declared war on New Years by making the festivities less fun, and they cite MADD's efforts to educate the public as a factor in this travesty. "I just want to live a little during the holidays, and I can't because groups like MADD want me to be all worried about how much I drink," said Matt Midday, a member of FAPA. Mr. Midday also noted that he has canceled his auto insurance with State Farm, and hopes he doesn't get into any accidents in the near future.
   FAPA has previously protested the war on sex by boycotting companies such as Trojan, Durex, and Lifestyles for making sex less fun and spontaneous.
(source: i made it up.com)