Crazy Alive

   One of the hot toys this year, apparently, is this doll called Baby Alive. I have a few issues with this contraption...
   First is its name - Baby Alive. Well, an animated doll called Baby Dead just wouldn't be as much fun. Actually it would be rather frightening. Kinda like Chucky. Couldn't someone come up with something better? Like Betsy Wetsy. Oh wait, that one was already used.
   Which brings me to my next point. This doll shits. OK, my mom used to tell me about how she had a Betsy Wetsy. I thought that doll was a little odd. But anyone can handle a little tinkle. But crap? Now kids are demanding a doll that craps? Man, that was never on my wish list as a child!
   You get 10 packets of food for about $5. Why not just give her Raman noodles - they're cheaper. Well, anyway, for this meal you mix with water and feed the baby. Now that's sweet. But what's not as sweet is that you must ensure the diaper is on when you start feeding because apparently this baby has some serious diarrhea. The website specifically states: "IMPORTANT: Make sure she has a diaper on and it’s securely fastened." Securely? So now it's explosive shit.
   What's even more disturbing is that after all this feeding, one just might have to clean the Baby Alive out. This makes me want to gag. "Give the BABY ALIVE doll several bottles of water until any remaining food has been rinsed away and the water runs clear (best to do this over a sink)." Oh lord, can you just picture this horrific scene? And what questions follow? Will children think that if they drink a lot of water they'll just crap over a sink afterwards? I hearby request the juvenile justice system go easy on those ones.. they had no idea.
   And you thought PS3s were expensive on eBay? Baby Alive is currently running as high as $200! Get a load of that crap...