Gay 12 step - not a dance

   Apparently in Moscow the gay pride parade has been banned once again. In addition, a senior city official has said that homosexuality is like alcoholism. (mosnews.com) So I propose a 12-step program for the HOmOsExUAls:

1. We admitted we were powerless over being queer - that our lives had become over glamorous.
2. Came to believe that dance music is a greater power than ourselves and could restore us to sanity
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the Fab 5 as if we understood them
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our porn collection
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact day we chose to be queer, or can't you remember?
6. Were entirely ready to have Jerry Falwell remove all these defects of character
7. Humbly asked Cher to remove our shortcomings
8. Made a list of all persons we had sex with, and became willing to make amends to them all
9. Outed such persons wherever possible,
10. Continued to take uppers and when we were high promptly admitted it
11. Sought through shopping and drag shows to improve our conscious contact with Madonna.
12. Having had a homosexual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other queers, and to practice being fabulous in all our affairs.