March 2007 Archives

I have no internet access at home for the next few days/weeks, and I am in complete and utter withdrawal. Oh the agony! I wonder from moment to moment who or what has emailed me, and how many ways there are to grow more hair and enlarge… whatever. I had no idea what the weather was going to do today until I suffered through that unending cycle of forecasts they call the Weather Channel.

Text messaging Google has proven to be too time consuming to be of value. Google SMS is wonderful for quick searches and information on the go, but asking it to update my website and buy my next textbook seem to make it angry.

And school – for my online classes I’ve had to confine myself at the library with the rest of the non-broadbandees to sit silently and suffer the wrath of readers when Windows starts up or hiccups. What are all these numbers on the shelves anyway? Are they ancient IP addresses? Oh, and I paid my 7 year old library fine today. Now I can be here without fear of the librarians credit collection assailing me with index cards.

Dear internet gods, please come visit my home once again and grace my humble PC with your speedy presence. Please come quickly before the satanous 56k rears its ugly head again with its horrifying squawking noises…

   Do you ever notice when watching an action movie that when people hit each other there are distinctive sounds - the cartoony "thwunk" and "bam!"? Being that I've never really been in a physical altercation - well except when that drag queen bit my hand and I pulled her wig - I thought those noises where relegated to the movies and cartoons. I especially love when cartoons put up the bubble with the written out sound so you know what exactly the sound looks like. Anyway...
   This morning at 6am I heard those sounds from people fighting, and they were about 500 feet away from me! They must have really been going at it. Having started their St. Patrick's Day festivities a little early, they sounded completely trashed and were yelling at the top of their lungs. "I told you not to grab me!" Huh? They fought briefly (thud, bam!) until one of them was knocked to the ground. Shortly thereafter the police and ambulance arrived to save the day - or at least keep them from spoiling St Patty's Day...

Sign seen at a pool:
Please report any sightings of vomitus or fecal matter in the pool area to management.

First, is vomitus really a word? I thought we just referred to that as vomit.
Second, why would there be an issue with barf or poop specifically in the pool area?
Just wondered...